History was never my favorite subject, especially when it came to my dating history. No matter how much I studied, those were the tests I always failed. Whether it was the time I failed to ask Tammy to the prom before our gym teacher, Mr. Cahoon, did, or the time I failed to pick up Robyn’s meds from the drugstore in time to prevent another "nuclear freak out."

So I didn’t want to mess up tonight’s third date with Annie, a history teacher built a little like Mr. Cahoon, on a snowy Valentine’s Day. I showed up at her apartment promptly at 7 p.m. with a dozen white roses and a pair of sweaty palms.

"Ace!" she said, greeting me at the door in a red dress that hugged her body like a needy child. "White roses, how sweet. I heard that white roses were the Phoenician flowers of flatulence. Did you know that?"

I didn’t, but it seemed fitting considering tonight’s reservation at Rosa Mexicana.

Before she questioned the scent of my discount cologne, I piped in, "Say, Annie, did you get me anything for this special occasion?"

"Yes I did! Follow me."

She pulled me through her apartment and into her kitchen, where she opened her freezer door. Delicious thoughts of grape Flavor Ice filled my head, but instead she yanked out a snowball.

Before my mind could begin to wonder what the Phoenicians thought of snow, Annie threw the frozen projectile at my face. It shattered into a million snowflakes upon impact on my ski-jump of a nose.

"Hey! What was that for?" I said, clearing an unexpected ice age from my eyebrows.

Instead of a towel, she tossed me a conundrum.

"Riddle me this insurance man: Does homeowners insurance pay if a roof collapses from the accumulation of snow? Roofs are collapsing daily in my home state of Michigan. Why is it covered when a snow storm, blowing in heavily overnight or during the day, builds up and the roof falls in; when it’s not covered when it snows on and off every day for two weeks, and someone lets it build up to 3 or 4 feet without removing it, turning it into ‘neglect’ issue and thus excluded by the policy?"

Looked like another Valentine’s Day massacre for Ace Insura’s heart. Still, the question was intriguing.

"Annie, your question is a good one, although I wonder if it’s a reasonable one."

Why was Ace ushering the Age of Reason into Annie’s snowball fight? For help solving this mystery and to check your solution against Ace’s, click here.

  Jonathan Hermann (underwoodno5@yahoo.com) is an IA contributing editor.