The Case of the Disillusioned Dishwasher

I knew the economy was bad. Not only was my stockbroker refusing to return my calls, but now the ATM laughed at me when I asked for $100. However, nothing prepared me for the sight I discovered at the corner of Skid Row Drive and Penniless Place.

That’s where I pulled up to a four-way stop to find a young immigrant holding a sign that read, “Will wash dishes for food.”

How did I know he was an immigrant, out of place among Americans? For starters, he wore a hockey jersey—the Maple Leafs to be exact. Along with the jersey he kept his beard shaggy, like a lumberjack who slept all night and worked all day. Yes, he was obviously a Canadian.

Intrigued by his sign, I rolled down my window and said, “Hey guy, I don’t have any dishes, but I’ll buy you a stack of hotcakes if you want.”

“Hotcakes, eh?” he said or asked, I couldn’t tell. “Sure thing, Mac.”

“It’s Ace, actually. Hop in.”

Twenty minutes later, I was watching Dudley tear through a short stack of cakes faster than a wet moose runs backwards in the woods. As the syrup coated his tongue, he told his sad tale.

“I came to this country about a year ago because I heard that a man can be rewarded for hard work. And hard work I found, eh, washing dishes at Paco’s Tacoria—that cheese is hard to scrape off!”

“Sounds like you were living the dream,” I said, recalling at time I ate at Paco’s, when my No. 5 combo platter unfortunately became a pavement burrito. “What happened?”

“The restaurant burned down. Paco tried to flambé a margarita, and then…en fuego. Which means he could no longer pay me as he rebuilds,” he said woefully.

“Didn’t your employer have coverage that included ordinary payroll?” I asked, obviously because loss payment under the CP 0030 business income form includes loss of profits during the ‘necessary suspension’ of operations, such as a fire, including ‘payroll expenses, necessary to resume operations with the same quality of service that existed just before the direct physical loss or damage.’

“He did, but the adjuster turned my payroll claim down because I wasn’t ‘necessary’ for the return to business…whatever that means.”

“That means,” I said, signaling to the waitress for another stack, “the adjuster is telling your boss how to run his business, which is as wise as telling as woman how to do, well, anything.”

Why was Ace questioning the adjuster’s sanity?

For help solving this mystery and to check your solution against Ace’s, click here.

Jonathan Hermann (hermannism@gmail.com) is an IA contribution editor.