The Case of the Corpse’s Conundrum

It was a dark and stormy night. The wind blew harder than a one-armed trombone player, and rain poured from an angry sky that flickered with streaks of lightening.

As for the thunder, it was bowling strikes. Well, not real thunder, but my bowling league team, Thunder Rolls, was knocking the pins down with ease over at Abe’s Bowl-a-rama.

We were murdering our competitors, the Holy Sisters of Mercy, who would need a miracle to beat us now.

My turn rolled around in the 10th frame, so I picked up my ball, aimed for the right-side pocket and let ‘er rip. As if made in France, the pins surrendered before my ball even got there, falling over and playing dead just as the ball ripped through. Another strike!

I turned and high-fived two of my teammates, but the third, Larry, sat still in the orange plastic stair, staring down at his rented shoes as if he just realized how horribly they went with his purple tube socks.

“Larry, buddy,” I said, “What’s wrong. Either the alley ran out of beer or your uncle just died.”
“Actually my uncle did just die.”

“Larry! I’m sorry, man. That’s horrible!”

“I’ll say it’s horrible. That son-of-a-bum is costing me a lot of money!” Larry pounded the scorer’s table so hard his beer jumped an inch.

“I guess you didn’t like him much.”

“I liked him as much as a fire hydrant likes a dog parade. He was even a tenant of mine, and now my insurance company is trying to stiff me over the stiff!”

“Talk to me, Larry.”

“He died in one of my rental units. The body went undiscovered for a few weeks and there was a good deal of decomposition of the body. Some of the bodily secretions were absorbed into the floor, so I had to call in a special firm to clean up the apartment, which cost me $6,000!”

“Six grand? I know a guy in Jersey who will clean up a body for $50.”

“A lot of good that does me now, Ace. Anyway, the insurer has denied coverage under the pollution and ‘fungus’ exclusions. I know of another company that has paid this type of claim, so now I’m looking for ammunition to argue for coverage with this insurer. What do you think?”

“Larry,” I said, “you insurance company may have knocked you down, but they won’t be able to pick up the spare.”

How will Ace prove that the company is dead wrong on this one? For help solving this mystery and to check your solution against Ace’s, click here.

Jonathan Hermann (hermannism@gmail.com) is an IA contributing editor.