The Case of the Tailgater’s Trouble

On a crisp Sunday morning, I was introduced to tailgating, the classiest and most refined of American institutions, at a tilt between the Redskins and the Falcons. For those who are unfamiliar with this particular cultural ritual, tailgating is when football fans arrive early to the game in order to consume as many 50-cent cans of beer as possible, often beginning as early as 9 a.m., so that he or she can resist the urge to pay $8 for the same beer inside the stadium.

Apparently, according to my friend Dave who was escorting me through the parking lot in search of his usual Sunday crew, there’s an art to tailgating. The true pre-game professional brings a portable grill, at least three species of delicious dead animals, camping chairs with well-worn cup-holders and a cooler large enough to comfortably fit and properly chill an adult polar bear.

We finally made it to Dave’s friends, who were all standing behind a burgundy F-150 with something large covered in its bed. After introductions, I asked the truck’s owner, a fervent fan known as Tina Redskina, what’s in the back.

“It’s a Removable Tailgating System,” she said.

“Removable Tailgating System?” I asked. “Those words go together as confusingly as Mother Love Octopus or Intelligent Reality Star. What is it?”

“It’s two things: one, it’s a system that sits in a pickup truck bed and contains a TV, satellite receiver, DVD player and other tailgating essentials, which is completely removable and not attached in any way to the vehicle since it’s kept in place by the closed tailgate and by its weight. But it’s also an insurance hassle, which is why we aren’t using it today.”

Beer immediately spewed from Dave’s lips, covering me in a scent best described as Old de Toilet. “What!” he said. “This can’t be! Ace, you gotta help her out.”

“I’ll try. What’s the deal, Tina?”

“Well, I thought my RTS was protected under coverage C of my homeowner’s policy, but I was told by my insurer that it’s not. They cited two exclusions: motorized land vehicles including their equipment and accessories while in or upon the vehicle; and any device or instrument, including any accessories or antennas, for the transmitting, recording, receiving or reproduction of sound or pictures which are permanently installed in the vehicle. I don’t think either apply, but until I know for sure, we aren’t using it.”

“Well, Tina, there could be hope,” I said.

What kind of Hail Mary play does Ace have in mind?

Check your solution against Ace’s.