The Case of the Famous Foster Parent

Living in Washington, D.C. has its advantages: a large number of free museums, direction-seeking tourists who are fun to mislead and the sense of community that comes from being stuck on the beltway (also known as I-495) during rush-hour traffic.

The only disadvantage is the infestation of politicians that plagues the city. They are everywhere—congressmen and representatives followed by doe-eyed interns, taking up the best tables in restaurants and blocking traffic with embarrassingly long motorcades—obviously over-compensating for their small constituencies.

I’ve learned to avoid them and their navy-suited entourages. So when I spied a gaggle of paparazzi outside my usual Starbucks in Dupont Circle, my first instinct was to ditch this latte but curiosity got the better of me.

Luckily it wasn’t a politician clogging the line; it was Rad Pitt, the hunky actor who’s shacking up with that sultry starlet, Angel-Lima Jolly.

He wasn’t the first celebrity I’ve bumped into—once I shared a hand dryer in the men’s restroom at Union Station with Gerard Depardieu—so I was going to play it cool and leave him be. But my niece would kill me if I didn’t get his autograph, so I nonchalantly approached as he stirred a packet of raw sugar into a 40-ounce macchiato.

“Mr. Pitt, excuse me but…”

“Ace? Ace Insura? I’m such a big fan.”

“A fan? Of me?”

“Heck yeah,” he said, “A lot of us actors are insurance geeks. Me, Clooney, Fabio…we all read the trades, and your name pops up all the time. I could really use your help right now.”

The star-struck barista, the one who forgets my regular drink even though I’ve ordered it from her 1,043 times before, suddenly eyed me keenly.

“What’s the problem?”

“As you might have heard,” he began, running his hand through his blonde highlights, “Angel-Lima wants a huge army…I mean, family, so we have several foster kids running around the house, on top of our two adopted children and our biological daughter.”

“Rad, you have three adopted children.”

“Really? You’re probably right. Anyway, what coverage, if any, do foster children have under their guardian’s homeowner policy? Do they have coverage for the personal property they bring with them or only that’s provided by the foster parents? Do they have liability coverage?”

“Rad,” I said, “Unlike your chest in your latest photo spread in GQ, your kids are covered.”

Why was Ace so sure?

For help solving this mystery and to check your solution against Ace’s, click here.

Jonathan Hermann (hermannism@gmail.com) is an IA contribution editor.