Diffusing and Relieving Self-Imposed Stress

Stress has altered the way I see the world, my mindfulness and my total body awareness—especially as I’ve gotten older.

But I believe being “stressed out” is a choice we have the power to control. We may not be able to control the outside circumstances, but we can control how we choose to react to them.

Stress is a big deal—between weight gain, heart disease and even the depletion of gray matter in the brain, it has a variety of detrimental effects on our health. As a self-sufficient “doer,” I have a can-do attitude and can’t afford to let stress get the best of me. But sometimes, this mentality creates challenges in my life.

I’m often too hard on myself, which all began with a “never good enough” upbringing sprinkled with plenty of “prepare for the worst” anticipation. This mentality is hard to shake—it accompanies you throughout your life until you choose to break it. I observe a similar mindset in many of the organizations I work with, and in the negative undertone of cynicism in our industry.

In the early 2000s, I learned a neuro linguistic programming exercise which, in less than four weeks, changed my life forever. Because of my conditioning, I wasn’t able to trip over a piece of carpet, drop papers on the ground or make any other minor mistake without beating myself up. I had been doing it all my life, and the stress was hurting my mind and body.

The exercise taught me to envision another version of myself, and thank that person for all they have done to help me in my life. Afterwards, I was asked to get in my car and drive away, looking in the rearview mirror to see that person getting smaller and smaller.

It may sound silly, but this exercise turned out to be a foundation for building a greater consciousness about self-imposed stress. Afterwards, every time I noticed I was addressing myself with negative or derogatory talk, I thanked that part of me then mentally got in my car and drove away.

That was almost 10 years ago, and I still routinely share that breakthrough exercise with others who struggle with being hard on themselves. Today, I subscribe to the science that quieting the mind has greater effects on our stress and information overload than ever before, fostering creativity and acute mental awareness that is difficult to achieve through other means.

If you want to learn more about stress management, I highly recommend checking out these two TED Talks:

• Kelly McGonigal: “How to make stress your friend”
• Andy Puddicombe: “All it takes is 10 mindful minutes”

Brandie Hinen is CEO of Powerhouse Learning, a coaching and consulting firm.