Ask, Don’t Tell: The Power of Two

An extremely confident, unskilled team or a skilled team that lacks confidence—which is worse?

To avoid both scenarios, balancing the feedback you give producers is critical—but it shouldn’t necessarily be 50/50.

If you constantly praise your team members without suggestions for improvements, you will have an extremely confident, unskilled team. But if you constantly suggest how your team members can get better without celebrating their successes, you’ll end up with a skilled team that lacks confidence.

The tough task is breaking the habit of presenting what salespeople did well rather than asking. Think about the times you’ve received feedback—chances are, someone gave it to you rather than asking you for your input. You have years and years of history “giving feedback,” but asking the first question in two-way feedback is the key to breaking previous habits. Telling involves only one-way communication. By asking, you open the door for a two-way interaction.

Effective two-way feedback is common sense. The four steps that follow are by no means a scientific breakthrough, but they’re also not common practice. Changing that is the key to engaging your sales team—and boosting performance.

One-way feedback provides the information someone needs to improve—you have viewed their demonstration of a skill and are able to tell them what they have done well and what they can do differently. Why is that not sufficient? We believe what we formulate. What someone else tells us is interesting, but then “not invented here” kicks in.

Two-way feedback makes the salesperson’s viewpoints part of the process. They are part of the diagnosis and, most importantly, part of the solution. If you allow them to celebrate their success and reinforce it, they will give you their honest opinion of what they need to do differently next time. And if it comes from them first, the likelihood of them implementing the ideas dramatically increases.

The content of the commentary will be very similar in one- and two-way feedback—it’s the potential for change that improves in the latter.

The two-way feedback model involves the following four steps:

1) Ask what they did well.

2) Add what you feel they did well.

3) Ask what they will do differently the next time.

4) Add what you would suggest they do differently next time.

Steps 1 and 2 build confidence—we need confident team members. Steps 3 and 4 build skill. All four steps create a confident, skilled and engaged sales team.

1) “What do you feel you did well?”

You ask the question and the salesperson starts to share. Don’t let your mind drift into the realm of “What will I say he or she did well?” That means you’re not listening—and if your salesperson describes something he or she feels they did well but you feel they need to improve in that area, you could miss it because you’re one step ahead.

When you ask the question, quiet your mind and engage the salesperson in discussion with questions like:

• Why was that a strength?
• Can you give me an example?
• How did the customer react at that point?
• How else can you use this strength in other customer meetings?
• What might have happened if you had not done this?

Discuss the salesperson’s perceived strengths so you reach consensus that they are strengths and the salesperson is clear on how he or she will continue to use them in the future. You can then ask for a second strength and repeat, or you can move to step 2.

Caution: Many salespeople will give you a laundry list when you ask for strengths. These are usually team members who struggle with self-diagnosis. They will recap the entire call instead of being specific. Slow them down and focus the conversation with a more thoughtful question:

• Can you pinpoint the one strength you demonstrated in that meeting that makes you the most proud?
• What was your most brilliant moment in that meeting?
• If we asked the customer what sales skill they most admire in you, based on that meeting, what would they say?
• You did lots of things well. Can you tell me the one or two things you did best?

2) “Here’s what I saw you do well.”

Your comments here must be focused, specific, helpful and genuine. It’s fine to agree with some of what your salesperson has said, but try to be original, too. What did you observe that the salesperson has not mentioned?

During this step, it’s important to engage the salesperson in the dialogue. “I liked when you challenged the customer by asking who they would show your proposal to. It opened them up and you were able to better understand the decision-making process for this important assignment. What was the customer’s reaction when you asked that?” In this example, you delivered your feedback while also creating an opportunity to engage the salesperson and invite him or her to share in the celebration of this strength.

Steps 1 and 2 help build confidence, so it’s a good idea to pause after these steps and be sure both you and the salesperson have celebrated success. Doing this earns you the right to proceed to steps 3 and 4.

3) “What will you do differently next time?”

This is a small question that opens up Pandora’s Box. The salesperson might be thinking, “I don’t know, and you are about to tell me, so why should I share with you what I need to improve?” It’s a tough question for people who are not accustomed to admitting weakness.

Be patient and allow the salesperson to think. If they try to pass, ask the question in a different way:

• What would the customer suggest you do differently?
• What would you have done to get better or deeper information in the meeting?
• Take your time and replay a moment where you could have slightly adjusted what you did. What was that moment and what would the adjustment be?
• Was there a moment in the meeting when you were uncomfortable? What caused that feeling?
• What questions did you not ask that would have been helpful?

Once they share, investigate their suggestion.

• Why do that differently?
• What might have happened?
• How might the customer have reacted?
• How can you ensure you make the change?
• Tell me more about why you chose this change.

When you and the salesperson have investigated one change, you can ask for another and repeat or you can move to step 4.

4) “In the future, I would suggest…”

As in step 2, your comments here must be focused, specific, helpful and genuine. It is fine to agree with some of what the salesperson has said, but try be original as well. What did you observe that the salesperson has not mentioned? Engage them in the dialogue.

Steps 3 and 4 build the skill of your team members. After completing them, pause to make sure both of you are committed to making the changes you have discussed in these steps. Because the salesperson spent the time and energy to come up with their own insight and “aha” moments, they are far more likely to become more skilled—starting right now.

Kevin Higgins is the CEO of Fusion Learning Inc, recognized by Selling Power as one of the top 20 sales training companies in North America. He is the author of “Engage Me: Strategies From The Sales Effectiveness Source.”