The Case of the Questionable Q&A

October Ace Insura

I leaned back in my black leather recliner, my velvet robe tightly belted, the flickering candles reflectively dancing in my crystal wine glass filled with Kentucky’s finest chardonnay. I was ready for a romantic Saturday night, which, for me, meant sitting alone and listening to “Cute & A,” a local call-and-answer radio show.

I tuned in for many reasons, including to reassure myself that there are people out there more messed up than me, like the guy last month who asked if it was socially acceptable to put ketchup on scrambled eggs.

He was set straight by the “cute” host, Lexy, the main reason I listen to the show. Her sultry, hot-butter voice could melt an ice cream sundae sitting atop the stereo speaker, as I found out the hard way (I’m still trying to get fudge out of my woofers).

Tonight, a young woman called first and said, “Hi Lexy. I posted a ‘casual encounters’ ad on Craigslist and my father-in-law answered it not knowing it was me. Should I wear a turquoise or black dress on our date at Medieval Times?”

“Honey child,” Lexy purred, exhaling a gust of smoke into the microphone that made me simultaneously cough and smile. “I’d wear a suit of armor and keep your father-in-law at sword’s length. Next caller.”

“Jason here. I was a renter in the same residence for nine years and had an accidental fire that severely damaged one room. I was asked to leave, and now my landlord’s insurance company is coming after me for the claim. Two questions: Would renters insurance have helped? And can my landlord’s insurer come after me like that?”

“Renters insurance would not have helped—it only covers your personal belongings,” Lexy began. “Insurance for the structural space you are living in should be covered under your landlord’s policy. Even if your landlord has not purchased landlord insurance, this does not mean that liability lies with you. Jason, the fact that you do not own the property means that you are not legally liable for damage done to it. Next caller.”

Suddenly Lexy’s voice rubbed me the wrong way, like a pair of cactus pants. I quickly phoned the show, and Lexy answered on the second ring.

“You’re on ‘Cute & A.’ Whatchya got?”

“Hi sexy…I mean Lexy,” I slipped with Freudian flare. “Longtime listener, first-time caller. I have so many things I want to ask you, but I’ll start with, why are you giving Jason horrible insurance advice?”

Where was Ace going to start? click here.

Jonathan Hermann (hermannism@gmail.com) is an IA contributing editor.