The Case of the Cushiony Car Claim

September Ace Insura

The Case of the “Cushiony” Car Claim

I believe we all suffer from tri-acronym phobia—the irrational fear of organizations with three-letter acronyms.

My cousin Vincent fears the IRS, possibly due to his “23 dependents.” My friend Milo distrusts the DEA which, he assures me, has nothing to do with the hydroponic farming he does in the windowless shed in his backyard.

Me, an insurance man passionate about agents who care about their clients, I fear an organization with workers who seem to detest people. You guessed it…the DMV. Yet there I was, standing in line at the Department of Motor Vehicles to remove the car boot some officer kindly—and erroneously—left on my Honda.

After a two-hour, slow-motion conga line with a few un-bathed strangers, I finally made it to an interior waiting room, a small space filled with five others. I took the only open chair, which was covered with yesterday’s newspaper, sitting on it without moving the rag.

As I sat down, I heard a noise that, surprisingly, came from me. It was a juvenile noise, one I have not made in public since fifth grade biology class after a bean burrito lunch.

Three of the room’s occupants shot me daggers, while an elderly woman put the back of her hand to her forehead as if she was about to faint. But the fifth occupant, a portly gentleman with a kind face, simply reached beneath the newspapers and pulled out a deflated whoopee cushion.

“My apologies, sir,” he said, showing the others the true source of the vulgar sound before reaching out to shake my hand. “Jim James, Making Whoopee Gifts, manufacturers of fine novelty items and poor insurance policies.”

“Poor insurance policies?”

“Yep,” he sighed. “My company has a business auto coverage, which includes hired/non-owned liability and hired physical damage coverage. While attending the big novelty toy convention in Las Vegas, I rented a car to use for business only and had an accident, resulting in physical damage to the rental vehicle along with property damage and bodily injury to the other party. When I returned to the office, I filed a claim with my company’s insurer and you’ll never guess what happened.”

“They turned you down, saying they are excess coverage for any damages because your PAP would cover it.”

“Wow! You’re good. Are you the amazing Kreskin?”

“No, I’m just the average Ace Insura, but I do know an amazing amount about insurance.”

How did Ace guess the right answer?

For help solving this mystery and to check your solution against Ace’s, click here.

Jonathan Hermann (hermannism@gmail.com) is an IA contribution editor.