The Case of the Expensive Expense

Death be not proud, nor pretty. My parrot, Mr. Peepers, passed gas then passed away, somersaulting off the swinging perch and sticking his final landing atop the comics lining the bottom of his cage—on Garfield no less.

I stared in disbelief at the caged bird that no longer sang. I’ve had Mr. Peepers—a Scandinavian blue-bill—since college, and he had stuck with me through thick and thin mints. You see, he had a passion for Girl Scout cookies—thin mints to be precise, which I could still taste when I gave him mouth-to-beak resuscitation.

Devastated by Mr. Peepers’ sudden conversion from parrot to ex-parrot, I decided to erect a monument in my back yard, next to the begonias. So off I went to Mike’s Marble and Granite Discount Warehouse to find the proper headstone.

I was so distraught pulling into the parking lot, I barely noticed running into my old buddy Phil until he was lying prone on the hood on my car.

“Look where you’re going…Ace! Pal, am I glad to see you!”

“Hey Phil,” I said, pulling into the closest spot. “What’s up.”

“Not you. You look horrible! What’s wrong?”

“I lost my parrot.”

“Did you look under the couch? I looked under mine the other day and found 37 cents!”

“Can we talk about something else, Phil?”

“Yes! Mike’s Marble here is my insured, and they have building and personal property coverage and business income (without extra expense) coverage. Lightning struck the premises a few months ago during that really big storm…you know, the one that knocked out the whole town’s cable.”

That was an ugly scene. A mob formed in the town square, demanding their MTV.

“So the lightning,” Phil continued, “damaged a piece of machinery best described as a compressor on steroids…let’s just say it’s a big piece of equipment.”

“The adjuster is denying the damage claim?”

“Not at all—the machinery applies under the property form and repairs are being made.”

“Then what’s the pill, Phil?”

“Well, my insureds took the initiative to rent a replacement compressor at $100 a day. By the time repairs were made, they incurred$6,000 in rental costs. Because of this rental, they did not suffer any loss of business income. The adjuster denied the claim for the rental, saying, ‘If you had the business income and extra expense coverage form, this would have been covered.’ What do you think of that?”

“I think they better check themselves before they wreck themselves.”

Why was Ace spouting bad poetry?

For help solving this mystery and to check your solution against Ace’s, click here.

Jonathan Hermann (hermannism@gmail.com) is an IA contribution editor.