The Case of the Audacious Auctioneer

The main lobby inside Henry & Miller’s Auctioneers and Appraisals was buzzing with dozens of teen, preteens and men with teenaged hearts—the tops of their heads a seething sea of Yankee caps and astro-boy haircuts.

The crowd was there for one reason and one reason only—to bid on a rare, limited-edition Luke Skywalker figure still in the original packaging. For those not in the know, to find an original Star Wars
figure still in the original packaging is like finding a survivor from the Titanic still floating in the Atlantic.

As the clock struck noon, the crowd hushed in reverent silence. The auctioneer wasted no time. He stepped up to the podium and held Skywalker up so high that a golden ray of sunlight gleamed from the tip of the plastic blue lightsaber magically tucked inside Luke’s plastic arm.

Enjoying the power of his position, the auctioneer took a deep breath, peered around the room and began. “Can I get $1,000? $2,000? Do I hear $3,000…?”

“I bid $25,000!” a voice boomed from the back, ending the auction as quickly as a famished Wookie ended a turkey dinner.

As I wiped away my disappointment with a white handkerchief, I realized that the auctioneer was an insurance buddy of mine named Harold.

It was no surprise that Harold moonlighted here—he was the smoothest talker I ever knew. Once he even talked his way into the NBA Finals by telling everyone he was Michael Jordan’s son even
though he looked more like Larry Bird’s accountant.

Harold walked up to me and said, “Ace, buddy, pal, friend. I’m so very glad to see you.”

“Hey Harold. I didn’t know you did this. How long have you been an auctioneer?”

“For one, do I hear two, can we have three…three years…sold!”

“Good one,” I said, tossing in a laugh as fake as an Eskimo’s tan.

“So why are you glad to see me?”

“I need to know—I mean really know—what ‘acquired’ means in relation to betterments and improvements. You may be wondering why I need to know. Well, a recent claim was denied because the owner of the leased area had not made any betterments or improvements at his own expense since he started his lease. All of the improvements were made just prior to taking over the lease. But still, didn’t he acquire these B&Is?”

“Harold,” I said, “understanding insurance policies sometimes takes an acquired taste.”

Why was Ace questioning Harold’s taste? For help solving this mystery and to check your solution against Ace’s, click here.

Jonathan Hermann (hermannism@gmail.com) is an IA contributing editor