The Case of the Guarded Garage

Once a year, I roll out to a self-storage garage I rent to clean up the joint. Dust, like insurance ignorance, is an enemy of mine, and I don’t like it overtaking my antique garden gnome collection I keep in the storage unit.

As I got out of my car, the August heat made every pore in my body cry. It was so hot I turned around expecting to find the sun holding a magnifying glass six feet behind me.

After wiping a gallon of sweat from my brow, I spotted a familiar face leaning against the garage next to mine. It was Sandy, a cute agent with an Aussie accent I met a few months back at a singles mixer for insurance people.

She was sitting on the ground, leaning against the garage door as if she slept there all night. Black eyeliner streamed down her face, and for a second I couldn’t figure out if it was her or Alice Cooper. Since school’s out for summer, it had to be her.

“G’day, Sandy. It’s Ace Insura. Are you okay?”

“Ace!”

I could tell by the bubbly tone in her voice that she was either happy to see me or else she was just bitten by a Chinese water scorpion.

“I’m so glad to see you,” she said, putting my scorpion fears to rest.

“Really? You are? I’m surprised, because at the mixer you told me to get you a drink, and before I returned you left with that guy who voices the AFLAC duck.”

“Biggest mistake of my life, Ace. My ears are still hurting from that night. I should have stuck with a cuddly koala bear like you.”

When a beautiful woman was this nice to me, there was only one thing to say. “Let me guess. You have an insurance problem and you want me to solve it. Spill it.”

“Thanks Ace! My insured had to place items in this self storage facility a month ago while his new home is being built, and one of those items is a cherished four-wheel ATV. I don’t know if the homeowner’s policy covers the ATV or if I need to obtain specific coverage! So until I figure it out, I’m staying here for the next five months, protecting this garage.”

“Sandy,” I said, “You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have the answer.”

Why was Ace singing the theme song from “The Facts of Life”? For help solving this mystery and to check your solution against Ace’s, click here.

Jonathan Hermann (hermannism@gmail.com) is an IA contributing editor.